Thursday, August 03, 2006
last night i finish with my FSB calculation,
n wanted to sleep.
i took my pillow n went to the living room.
i laid on the sofa.
about 1 plus, my aunt n mum come back.
they look so weak n tired.
i help out abit n mum shoo mi to sleep.
so lay on bed for a few minutes to hear if anything is happening
n slept.
i am reali tired - exhausted.
today went to school with a heavy heavy heart.
pray before i went out n check my mum is sleepin before i went out.
in the train ride, my brain kept talkin to itself.
im tryin to push out the negative thoughts.
reali tryin ver hard.
easier said than done.
sorry guys tat i hav put a ver blackie face.
they dun noe the reason y.
i think i put the mood to near zero.
reach school i settle down, but the teacher was half an hour late.
nvm. he reach we went in.
and dear mi, i dun reali noe he is talkin about.
haiz.
after that had project meetin.
discuss some stuff n soon i will be stress for the referencing part.
went home after project,
my aunt told mi that she accompany my mum to doc again.
this time for her stomach gas.
then went to pray.
come back home n rest.
type out today's minutes for project n went to do some of my stuff.
then my mum called mi in to her room.
she wanted mi to handle her bank account books.
n the sad thing is that she cant recall her password.
i was so helpless.
i reali am.
she used to give me her password but i normally will forget it.
watchin her so helpless made my heart reali ache.
so so pain.
*teary eyes*
then aunt went downstairs to burnt the prayer stuff n saw something bad.
sad.
then around 8 plus i was helpin my mum to clear my dad's table.
i did some sort of bookkeepin.
now all things arranged in a neat n orderly manner.
see le ver shiok.
around 11plus when i was still in my mum's room filing,
my mei come into my mum's room - crying.
she is reali scared.
then my mum had to sayang her.
my sis told mi that she will sleep in my mum's room tonight.
ask mi to wake her up ard 615am in the mornin.
i see le i oso wan to cry,
still i held back.
no point makin my mum more painful to watch me cry.
reali no point.
wan cry can. not in front of her.
tat y i am controllin all my emotion.
such a hard thing to do.
even xiao mei also scared.
my aunties they oso scared.
all scared.
help my auntie say she got high blood pressure last night
when she heard my mum went to TTS.
i was still smsin her to chat with her.
lucky nothing happen.
tomorrow i hav to help my mum run errands.
i hav to try if i can help my mum to change n transfer some documentations.
hope everything will go on well.
so i can go home early.
think i will go sleep le.
*Everything will be alright de. it will be.*
Sally sigin off.
Name : S@lly