Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Uncertainty.. many things have been goin thru within my family.. y is this happenin.. can i blame anyone?
these few days since last week i have been accompanying my mum to the many doctors.. i can say we hav been to the doc together for many times i think 4 within 5 days.. her health is
deteriorating.. n all i could do is onli to accompany here n there.. there isnt much i cant do rite..
these few days my mum have been talkin to mi.. sort of pourin her sorrows to mi.. i reali dun mind.. actuali im happy that she did it.. cos at least by talkin it out it is a way for her to vent her
frustration, her fears n everything.. can u imagine ya mum cryin as she speaks out n that for many times i juz hav to turn myself or hide under some blanket so tat i wun hav to see it.. it is reali painful to see tat sight.. Real Painful..
yesterday she visit our family doc.. n the doctor gav her a ver serious look cos of my mum's
condition.. she say was suspectin from the condition tat she is in now.. the doc fear tat if the
situation persist.. my mum may go into a depression.. my mum noe tat im scare.. i did cover up my emotions.. i didnt wan to show her.. i wan to be there for her.. on monday.. the day where she cried in front of mi.. we both had a long n warming heartfelt talk.. this talk was about 2-3 hours.. i believe after i let her express wat she wan to.. she reali did cool down.. at least she dun hav to keep it to herself.. we chat about her past my history.. almost everything was covered.. emotionally i think this few days we are closer le.. i told her tat i hav quite different thinkin to many things.. my friends n i some how hav reali different mentality to many stuff.. then she fear tat i was under her influence.. but i calm her down sayin tat this mentality of mine is already formed since i get of stuff.. i think mayb during pri sch ba.. as years go by for mi.. the strange personality of mine slowly then reveal.. n its onli until now then i notice in many ways im similar to my mum's thinking.. n tat i believe tat simplity is the best..
actuali my mum told mi tat my dad didnt reali give her the sense of security tat she wan.. the
thought of divorce is actuali in her mind since in their early years of marriage.. n that when
problem arises.. my father will not side her.. he will side his family.. frankly speakin not tat im
badmouthin my relatives.. they didnt give us their due respect.. when in problem or they need
help.. they will for sure call my dad.. but whenever they hav good news to enjoy.. we are normali the last know.. that y until now.. ever since my dad come into contact with his family.. my mum n my dad hav been quarrelin.. countin the duration.. i think it hav been years le.. still can recall one of the most serious one is when i was in kindergarten.. they were busy quarrelin n my younger sis n i were hidin behind my mum back.. they were busy throwin stuff around.. this was quite a vivid image in my mind when i was chattin with my mum.. n recently durin the new year period.. i am the middleperson btw my mum n my dad.. can u imagine the spot im in? n that time we are suppose to hav reunion dinner.. n i thought we will miss our reunion dinner.. for the 1st time.. we hav our dinner at seoul garden.. n tat time the outlet was near closin time.. haha.. but i think we little ones manage to let our parents talk to each other for the 1st time.. isnt an easy job.. expectin us who oso affected by them to make the spirit high.. sad..
this mornin.. i wrote is on notepad.. my mum walk past mi askin mi wat im doin in front of
Darling.. i couldnt tell her im typin my thoughts.. so i told her my pet phrase ' i don't know'.. then her reply was.. u are busyin typin yet u dun noe wat u are typin.. then i thought about it.. i told her that im typin out wat i rmb for one of the subjects..
then we went for our breakfast n lunch at sunplaza.. return some library books.. n then i accompany her to the 'Relax Room'.. its a shop where we can enjoy foot reflexology n head/ shoulder/ lower back massage.. i was in there.. n indeed the store was in a relax condition tat im feel like sleeping.. haha.. can see tat the therapy was indeed helpful as the skilful massager help my mum relax her mind.. the next session will be on fri @ 2pm..
So i haven been studyin cos i cant concentrate n that i noe im laggin behind schedule.. with so
many thing goin on.. hard to focus.. but i believe i can make it de.. afterall they say under adverse conditions will the person be trained to be a better one.. mayb i can be one.. haha.. jokin onli la.. n finali tat (i think) will come to an end.. i can seriously get myself back to the momentum of studyin for my exams.. if not i will not have the time le..
gettin of the journal cos my dad has reached home.. i think im goin to bed.. nites..
(i suppose i will end up postin this..)
Jia You.. ..
Signin off at 26 Oct
Monday, October 24, 2005
hi there.. now study until sian so decided to blog abit..
thursday went to orchard library n study with friends.. haha.. the vanilla milk ok ok la.. onli ver hot n milky.. haha.. study there but seem ver sian.. when findin venue for dinner.. some dun like.. others like mi anything.. but everyone got the chance to revise their helpin skills le.. boycott, disconfirmation.. i was like.. they are so good to help mi revise wat i hav been tryin to cram into my head.. haha..
on friday after i went home from the group study at King Ablert Park Mac.. i accompany my mum to see the chi doc at adm.. in the end i oso see the doc.. cos for the few days i hav been sufferin form headache.. pain in the head.. wat a phrase to use now..
sat.. my mum still felt uncomfortable so i help her massage n in the end still end up visitin the doc at adm.. this time is the western medication.. then we found out its the fault of the wisdom teeth in my mum's teeth tat is causin all the pain n torment..
sun.. nth much happen.. i sort of complete writin out the notes for helpin skills.. look thru the pointer for communication.. but too sian to continue so decided to stop n wach tv..
today.. mon.. wake up early to help my mum book appointment for her dental treatment.. its gonna be this afternoon 4pm at yishun.. blk 418.. i think i will be bringin my notes along to study ba.. if not i will sit there n stare into blank spaces.. all i could do is study study..
this mornin as i was flippin thru the Straits Times.. an IPO interest mi.. they are now reali usin the advancement & Convenience of Technology to do their offers.. this time they are usin the ATM.. the steps to do the transactions seem simple enough.. n easily understand by ppl.. indeed this article has helpmi to refresh my memory of wat i am suppose to study for Financial Statement A n Customer Helpin Skills.. haha..
i thinkfor now.. i mind is all abt work.. dyin soon le ba.. hope to survive this.. hehe..
Signin off le.. 12.10pm (24 Oct 05)
Monday, October 17, 2005
Study Study Study
hi there again.. i think i wun be here for quite some time from now now.. until mayb a month later.. if i can.. now is the critical timin.. THE MAJOR EXAM..
Last fri was the end of presentation n project for this semster.. hehe.. so happy.. i think only our group we wore ver formal.. reali formal.. all long sleeve includin mi.. i mean i wore a jacket brought by esther.. but instead of goin out to celebrate the end.. we went to study.. no choice rite.. a group of us (8 of us) went to the mac near king albert park.. i heard it was normali quiet.. but we went.. i was noisy.. studyin here n there.. but not ver fulfiling.. at abt 5 plus 6.. we went home.. the bus ride was long due to all the red lights at the junction.. stand until my leg wobby de.. reach home at abt 7.. Its a long long journey.. **wan to sing k**
Sat work.. after work.. went to have dinner with family at sunplaza.. haha.. some funny stuff happen.. mi dad ask mi when i will be havin my holiday.. he wanted to bring the whole family for a holiday at rendang.. but my mum say tat it is monsoon season now.. so still dun noe if im still goin on a holiday.. hehe.. hope to go wor..
sunday.. IT'S TURTLE'S 19th BIRTHDAY!! Happy birthday to you.. Too bad that i cant be there to celebrate with you.. first time missin it thou.. as usual when to work.. but this is the last day of work b4 i go for my study break.. the auntie there were busy talkin abt mi.. haha.. strange though.. cos mayb im the onli 19 year old ger there.. some staff of giant oso chatted with mi.. for mi to kill time.. i even brought my notes of P&L.. study until i blur le.. reali need to buck up le.. if not i cant make it de.. JIA YOU!!!! after work.. met up with my mum n siblings at Causeway Point.. to hav dinner n do some walk about for food to digest.. after tat took train to adm to buy some prayer stuff.. reach home abt 10pm.. watch tv n did reali a little readin.. too tired.. still rmb in the afternoon.. ying ask mi if wan to go study at changi..i told her i didnt wan to cos of the journey.. too long.. ronald oso ask if wan go back sch to study.. again too long journey.. n to say i pretty lazy wor.. hehe..
Mon (17th Oct) .. so i think now i goin to hav my late breakfast n bury myself into the books.. Wish mi luck!!
cya friends n take care..
signing off at 1140am
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Post Results Effect
yoz.. today in sch.. i saw the ppl around mi so hardworkin.. they hav all started their revision.. like on FSA, FSI.. haiz.. mi gonna start le.. if not i sure cant catch up..
today after sch had group discussion.. went library to print some stuff for presentation and ate lunch.. i reach home at abt 3 plus.. feelin the dread n tiredness in my body.. i went to catch some slp.. n this sleep took 4 hours.. so finalli at 8pm i woke up.. had a quick shower n ate dinner.. today dinner i oso ate quite some time.. abt 45 mins.. i was busy enjoyin the soup n the veg.. yummy yummy.. then it was my turn to use Darling.. did my routine n chat with some friends.. from them i noe tat my results for 2 tests n a roleplay are out.. not reali good but still ok.. but tis oso means that i reali hav to buck up n strive harder le.. with the end of the projects.. its the start of another nightmare.. the exams.. so dun feel strange if u see a tigeress goin mad.. mayb tat will be mi.. this 2-3 weeks i will be in mediation.. haha.. as though i can mediate.. haha.. ok.. im talkin rot again..
** for those who thinks that they did not fair well.. Jia you
** for those who are under pressure for project submission.. Calm Down..
** for those who are facin many problems of many areas.. Cool Down n Think.. Dun Act Harshly
**To all my friends.. Dun Give up Easily.. Work n Think of different Ways to Resolve the Problems.. (dun let the situation controls u.. but u controls the situation.)
****im still learning, im still trying****
Monday, October 10, 2005
Manage my time ?
hi there.. i haven been blogging for quite some time le.. so decided to do it while i have the time too..
the wine fair was abt more than a week ago.. saw lots of ppl.. n by concidence saw Kelly jie too.. haha.. kelly jie was with her godma shoppin at Raffles city.. again i was submerged in the world of projects.. but i can say that after the FSI.. the remaining ones seem better in the sense of gettin the things rite n knowin what to do..
on fri ( 7.10) one of our group members requested for us to stay back.. so actuali the meetin was to settle some of the teamwork stuff.. not abt the projects n stuff.. its abt our communication.. initially there was rapport btw us were good.. but somehow due to increasin committements of different team members.. our group sort of becomes distorted le.. but i was quite happy when the problem was being talked out n smoothened.. at least we are applyin wat we have learnt n also got to know each other.. that's is reali wonderful to say.. Now we are one happy family.. with common goals n able to voice out wat we want to say..
after that sortin out meetin.. i went to beauty world to collect my book.. most of them hav alrdy reached le.. i was delayed by tat last min meetin but i dun mind.. after tat.. went to west mall with ying, xuan, bonnie, chun xia, and charlene for a relaxation at the aracade n window shop awhile.. reach home abt 6..
sat i went to work.. the aunties there.. all saw mi keep talkin to mi.. haha.. again im the youngest there.. the aunties all have grandchildren le.. so they treat mi more like thier daughters.. haha.. They are so so cute..
on sunday.. my mum helped mi apply off from my work... cos she says im workin too hard for my projects n that i didnt reali rest well for these few weeks.. which i can agree to.. Thanks Mum!! then in the afternoon.. my youngest sis ask mi if i wan go swim at her friend's condo swimmin pool.. n of cuz i went.. i reali didnt hav a good dip in the water for such a long long time.. reali ver relaxin n comfy.. After that.. had dinner with my family at yishun street 81.. shop ard in Prime n went home..
today.. i went to sch too early le.. cos i forget that the meetin is at 1130 and not 1030.. haha.. blur mi.. consectively my friends arrive n all of us were slowly into the project.. the project is reali movin one smoothly.. and i think we are onli left with one le.. Jia you.. and soon the other will end too.. mailin the stuff tat i had to.. i think im more or less cleared my part of the project le.. so shiok..
now im updatin my webby.. hehe.. got time then i will hav to study le.. Time is Runnin out for mi!! Catch it!! ** Drink more water..
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Dun noe wat i shd do!!
haha.. the title seem to be of a ver strong meanin but actuali it is nth.. yesterday was fri.. when to sch as per normal.. but watched the roleplay of the second day of presentation.. their presentations were good n well prepared.. expect tat there was some technical problem like the laptop and the OHP ( we our teacher trusted the most) of coz i think that technical problem will happen once in a blue moon ba.. after all the presentation it was abt 1145.. had 15 min break n went back to class for lesson.. but wew didnt reali touched the notes.. cos the lecturer was explainin wat we shd do for our next assignment... again one more assignment.. one after another.. but nvm.. jus preserve n work hard for this 2 weeks.. after tat will hav to sit down n study for the major exams in nov 1st n 2nd week..
back to topic we were released at abt 1245.. then our group met up to visit the library for some prinitin and talkin abt finalisin our FSI n reserachin n meetin time for the next 2 projects at hand.. thus finali able to leave sch at abt 1 plus..
reach adm.. ate my lunch alone n had met up with my mum.. it was rainin so my mum firend called and volunteered to drive us home..
the whole day i felt sleepy n now seem to lose something within me.. mayb its becos i hav been doin project intensively so i think once the project ended.. i felt kinda not able to adapt.. strange rite.. but somehow i shd feel happy cos at least we hav met up with dateline n produce a good job.. Well Done Guys!! but i think the feelin will be gone soon.. am i a workaholic? i dun noe..
at nite with little stuff to do.. i watch tv n ate ice cream.. ice cream ver yummy.. hehe.. then slept at abt 12 plus.. kinda early..
today wake up at abt 10 plus n decided to use the Darling while my bro is watchin TV.. sian ah.. dun noe wat to do.. time ssem to be flyin fast but i dun hav the energy to utilise it.. dun ssem to b able to work hardwork for now.. guess i shd rest for a day or 2.. hope tis will help.. Oya.. i still hav HW to do.. but it wun be a problem.. hehe.. Workin later at Raffles City wine fair.. hehe.. hear tat there are many ppl on thur n fri.. n for today n tmr.. i guess there will be much more ppl as compared to the 2 days b4.. haha.. So will update soon if i hav the time.. **Jia You**